To Believe Again

And so I walked day after day through my dark and
gloomy world just trying to survive to live another day ever
hoping that it will be better than the one before it that left
me emotionally spent and utterly empty in the end always
questioning why I never reach the full potential that
eludes me deep inside no matter how hard I search I
wonder what holds me back and I feel tired always looking
arrear seeing my troubles licking at my heels like a shadow one
can never truly escape as it mocks me and fills my mind with
the incessant heckling that nudges me in a new direction
appearing like a welcoming mirage yet coyly concealing the same
gloom masterfully behind a tantalizing and wondrous veil which
one day parts to expose a warm and peaceful sanctuary that warms
my heart and illuminates dusty memories shrouded in time of a place
so beautifully new that for those who made the pilgrimage understood
that the steely eyed fox did indeed possess a quiet warmth from
which this temple of faith utilized as its foundation
so that many years later a troubled young soul might stumble
through its doors and seek answers to riddles he could not
solve alone and again feel a comfortable warmth of his soul which
had been chilled by time until the fire from a scorched Yakima
sun escorted him to the edge and showed him all that was important
in this life came in the form of a radiant little girl with shimmering hair
and quizative turquoise eyes who loved unconditionally in return for
all the love which showered down upon her for that was when he
was undeniably happy and so this evening I kneel and give thanks to
my God who selflessly never left my side and who helps me to
believe again.

July, 2002